Looks like someone has a case of the MONDAYS. Or perhaps I have a case of the EVERY DAYS. I don't really know where this blog post is headed, but it's not in a perfume-y, makeup-y, or otherwise fun direction.
Today was supposed to be the day I heard about whether or not I got the job I interviewed for on Thursday. My phone has yet to ring. It's not that I'm sad about it. There are a lot of people in this town that don't have jobs, and I am sure the company found someone who was more qualified than me. I'm just in a bad mood about the whole ordeal because now I have to swallow my pride and keep going. Keep applying, keep interviewing, keep dealing with all the bullshit until I finally get hired somewhere... At which point I can permanently deal with *that* bullshit on a regular basis. I'm just so frustrated with life right now. I'm tired of being poor, I'm tired of worrying, I'm tired of competing against the entire fucking overpopulated world for jobs I never even wanted. I often wonder why the hell I even got a degree, because it's pretty fucking useless and has been ever since I received it. But that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.
I'm getting to the point where I need a new job just for my sanity. Waking up in the morning is becoming a battle in and of itself. The negative feelings I have for my job and most of the people within it are beginning to consume me. It's happened with some of my jobs in the past, and I've always decided to find new jobs. I know a job is a JOB, but it just seems like so many of them are full to the brim with terrible people that seem to be put on this planet to make others' lives as miserable as possible. I just want a normal job with normal coworkers and bosses that aren't Satan himself. Just a regular job with enough hours to keep a roof over my head and enough extra money so I don't have to worry every day of my freaking life. Maybe that's way too much to ask. I don't know.
I'm not sure what else there is to say. Thanks for reading, and I apologize for such a cynical post.
Amen to all that! And never explain, never apologize, especially here! It's your blog, feel how you want to feel. This is a place where you can be yourself, in spite of everything going on in "the real world." E.E. Cummings said "To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." I try to live by this. Sometimes a case of the Mondays is what you've got, own it. Having a job you hate and being told you should be grateful for it, like a beaten little puppy feasting on scraps, sucks. Interviews, also, suck. Ok, I don't know where I was going with all that, I guess I was just trying to be reassuring. I just mean, I hear you.
ReplyDeleteYou succeeded tenfold in the reassuring department. Thank you. Your kindness means the world to me. And that E.E. Cummings quote is absolutely amazing. It's something I'd love to see on my wall every day. Sam's speech to Frodo in The Two Towers also encourages me so much, the one that ends with, "There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for." Sometimes it's hard to see the good when bad stuff happens, when there are so many mean people, when the world seems to be so far from saving. But there is good, and when it's there, it's enough light to shine through all the darkness. People like you are what contribute to that light. Someone who is so sweet and encouraging to someone who was a stranger to her not so long ago. You truly brightened my day, miss Vix. And I thank you for that. ❤
DeleteI agree with Liber Vix - your space, your rules.
DeleteI get like that sometimes, and I don't hate my actual job but my boss is the very definition of a workplace psychopath and has created an extremely toxic environment. Sometimes I think about looking for something else, but I guess I'm just too much in my comfort zone. :-/ Anyway, I hope you're feeling better now it's the weekend. <3
There are good jobs out there, I swear! Though finding them seems to be difficuylt as hell... especially finding them and keeping them. I hope you´ll find a good job with nice coworkers and a kind boss! I have contacts at the local library and a temp job there this summer so Hopefully I´ll be able to get a permanent position there too some day! That is the plan at least! I like the place, the boss and the people working there!
ReplyDeleteI desperately don´t want to be cought up in the evil cycle of working just to get the money! My dad is a self employed construction worker/carpenter and while he complains sometimes I know he likes how variable his work is and the fact that he is creating something lasting. My mother is an artist and cannot live off of her work. She is dependant on my father but has the satisfaction of working with somthing she really loves! They have really set an example for me in that I want to take some satisfaction from my job other than the money! In any case, I will always have a roof over my head and food on my table. I´ll live with my parents in the house that they own and we will share all costs and all labor... I also have money set aside so I don´t have to find a job in a panic. For that I´m thankful!
Bottom line: it is my belief that somehow it will all work out in the end! That is what my life seems to be doing at least, and all I ever did was keep my optimism! If your goals aren´t set too high there is always a way to get there, sooner or later!
<3
I'm so glad you have a great setup. That's very lucky! Usually companies that have you working for them even for temp positions will ultimately hire you, so I'm sure it will work out for you. Which is great, especially since you enjoy the people and environment. And it's also good that you can fall back on your parents if need be. It sounds like they've taught you some incredibly valuable lessons and gave you a good outlook on life! Work shouldn't have to be miserable! <3
DeleteI feel your pain on the working with terrible people front. I have learned that the people you work with can make or break your job. You can have an awesome, stable job that you love that pays great and has awesome benefits but if you work with someone who creates a toxic work environment none of that seems to matter as much anymore. When you work full time, job stress can DEFINITELY start to consume your life. I hope you can find another job soon, your situation sounds very frustrating!!
ReplyDelete